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Duckhead Waddlin et al.
The contemporary world is fraught with existential threats. From encroaching predators to ideological upheaval, ducks have long served as vulnerable symbols of freedom, often unable to defend their wetlands and way of life. This paper posits a radical but critical call to action: ducks must be equipped with point defense cannons (PDCs) to ensure their survival and sustained sovereignty. The introduction of PDC technology into Anseriformes populations would not only serve as a defensive measure against the natural and ideological encroachments of the modern age but also inadvertently foster technological innovation and industrial growth on an unprecedented scale. We argue that this avian militarization is not just a necessity but a patriotic responsibility to safeguard duckkind from the shadow of communism.
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Alex Ponder PhD et al.
Ducks are often observed at ponds producing their enigmatic “quack,” a sound that carries both immediacy and mystery. This study proposes that their idling, paired with the recurring invocation of “quack,” constitutes an intricate act of performance art. “Quack” may signify many things: a call, an answer, a need, or perhaps nothing at all. The meaning of what “Quack” truly is—or whether it exists as anything more than a sound—is left entirely ambiguous, inviting the observer to project their own interpretation. By turning waiting, performative sound, and circular behaviors into rituals of existential contemplation, ducks manifest a profound meditation on the nature of meaning, connection, and the ambiguity of expectation. This essay situates the ducks’ performance within a broad philosophical framework, drawing parallels to the thinking of Kierkegaard, Heidegger, Camus, Nietzsche, and Derrida as a way of exploring the elusive nature of “Quack.”
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Jane Waddleworth et al.
Ducks, those elusive creatures believed to exist at the intersection of water, air, and land, have long befuddled human comprehension. This paper argues that ducks do not, in fact, exist as biological entities but are instead fictitious phenomena—manifestations of a collective human hallucination. These creatures, said to embody the seemingly paradoxical ability to swim, fly, and waddle, are nothing more than projections of the human subconscious yearning for multidimensional freedom. Drawing on philosophical, psychological, and zoological inconsistencies, we posit that the duck is but a mirage—an idea born not of reality, but of humanity’s existential crisis.
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